and just like that another year concludes, lets begin.
---
well i think i kinda undid my fine work the previous semester and i'm back to status quo a year ago. ain't got no one to fault but myself.
that said, i suppose while its still possible to attain statistically, realistically however i guess its rather improbable.
however, that doesnt mean that i'm giving up though; as long as there's even a sliver of a chance i'm going all out for it no matter what.
that said, been going to school almost on a daily basis during this holiday from day to night to do my urop project and so far it aint looking so good right now in all fairness.
also, been taking the time to learn hysys too and some readings for next semester stuff too. (i guess this is my way of atoning for my mediocrity this semester, if nothing else)
i guess i'm in a world of hurt right now, but i suppose its a matter or now or later; in any case, i might as well bite the bullet and suffer now rather than to taste the same horrors down the road (and possibly panic due to a lack of time).
also, realizing the actual scale of my impending final year project and also design project, i think its safe to say that whatever i've experienced up to now is child's play.
this will be one hell of a challenge (or struggle), but if that means building up my competency by all means i'm more than willing to take it.
well, time isn't on my side anymore is it? haha.
---
starting an internship at a semicon plant next week.
isn't exactly my first choice of work (wanted oil and gas but i was too lazy to apply through their dedicated jobs portal, goes to show how sloppy i am), but i suppose its cool to try out something different and see if its to my liking anyway.
after all, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
that said though i hope that i'll be able to cope with it (and not piss off anyone in the process).
(well gary you'll find a way to deal with it one way or another)
---
went to hokkaido for about a week.
i really liked the hot springs in general (soaking in an outdoor bath at 2am in the morning and seeing nothing but darkness? sign me up!), they make me feel warm and fuzzy somehow (well no shit i suppose).
i also personally liked their culture as well in spite of some flaws.
only downer is the occasional extreme cold weather which my body certainly isn't used to, but i reckon with time i should be able to acclimatise myself to it.
oh and i cant exactly speak japanese well either (havent even taken the N5 exam due to lack of time, go figure) but i was able to navigate my way alone with no difficulty.
perhaps a job in japan might be cool too.
---
been prepping for grade 4 this coming july/august.
i feel rather unprepared to be honest, since for the past 2 grades i've usually cleared all 3 of my pieces by this time but now, i'm barely halfway through the 3rd piece.
moreover, the sightreading section this time round isn't exactly 'cheese-able' as compared to before as well, so all the more its kinda scary.
but that said, it won't stop me from trying (and enjoying in the process too).
---
again, i still haven't found an answer to what i am or what i want.
but that said, perhaps i might come to terms with the possibility that there might not even be a satisfactory answer.
at least one thing is certain though - i still stand by my wish to die early.
---
guess there isn't much for me to talk about this time round since i've talked about the first half of the year in the previous post back in july/august.
in any case, here's to another year of challenges and fun times.
Wednesday, December 31
Wednesday, August 13
i somewhat realized that i've pretty much almost forgetton to write stuff for the first half of this year, so whoops, let's not wait any further and begin.
---
so semester 2, 2013-2014 has concluded.
got to say that its been a very good run, all things considered.
more importantly, it seems that the dream is actually alive; i actually have a fighting chance to make it right to the end with this.
... guess the only risk is that i somehow manage to trip and screw myself over.
in any case, as always, i'll just do my best and everything will fall into place as it is (at least thats what i hope, ha.)
good luck, gary!
---
been busy with UROP.
some research on how hot water can freeze faster than cold water under certain circumstances.
so far no breakthroughs, but been having some fun learning how to use the simulation programs at least.
only bummer part is that i gotta learn everything from scratch, but hey isn't university life the same as well? ha.
i foresee myself continuing to do this until next year at least, this will serve as a nice distraction from studies while i humor myself with computer simulations.
---
its funny how i'm already two years in, and i still feel like its year 1 sem 1 (or year 0, spec term).
time does fly i guess; in two years i'm off to the working world (unless i somehow decide to study further which i doubt so).
i have to admit that i really like my time in nus so far, and i will go so far as to say that i'll miss university life when i start working.
guess some people hate university life which i can understand, but i feel that it suits me rather well.
---
cleared grade 3 in july.
... and i actually somehow manage to one up my previous attempt too. that was really, really surprising.
well, off to grade 4 i go!
also, i can finally finish the entire sleepless city treno piece(although admittably it will take more practice to refine it to acceptable standards).
perhaps in few more years i can play any music that i want for my own personal enjoyment.
(and also add a wish list to get an actual upright/electone piano too).
---
sometimes when i decide to go on facebook and see how others are doing, i realize that i'm actually rather antisocial (as if that fact wasn't obvious enough to me).
acutally, antisocial isnt exactly the right word either; its more of 'i value personal time way, way more than talking to others' than 'i dont want to talk to anyone at all'.
but in any case, i think the end result is the same too ha.
well i guess i have to live with the consequences of my actions (and i'm more than happy to accept it).
----
sometimes i think about the future and what it holds, and i realize its an exercise in futility.
there's so many permutations and scenarios and possibilities that i can spend an eternity thinking about it, and yet i will get no conclusive outcomes or results.
---
i find that it is always best to hope for nothing, and expect the worst in all situations.
that way, you'll never be disappointed, and perhaps even surprise yourself if things dont go south.
perhaps some might see this as negative thinking (or any other terms that connotes negativity) but i find that its a better and easier way to see life as a whole.
---
i'll end my musings early as i still have many things that awaits me.
i'll probably continue more on my research project at the end of the year as usual.
---
so semester 2, 2013-2014 has concluded.
got to say that its been a very good run, all things considered.
more importantly, it seems that the dream is actually alive; i actually have a fighting chance to make it right to the end with this.
... guess the only risk is that i somehow manage to trip and screw myself over.
in any case, as always, i'll just do my best and everything will fall into place as it is (at least thats what i hope, ha.)
good luck, gary!
---
been busy with UROP.
some research on how hot water can freeze faster than cold water under certain circumstances.
so far no breakthroughs, but been having some fun learning how to use the simulation programs at least.
only bummer part is that i gotta learn everything from scratch, but hey isn't university life the same as well? ha.
i foresee myself continuing to do this until next year at least, this will serve as a nice distraction from studies while i humor myself with computer simulations.
---
its funny how i'm already two years in, and i still feel like its year 1 sem 1 (or year 0, spec term).
time does fly i guess; in two years i'm off to the working world (unless i somehow decide to study further which i doubt so).
i have to admit that i really like my time in nus so far, and i will go so far as to say that i'll miss university life when i start working.
guess some people hate university life which i can understand, but i feel that it suits me rather well.
---
cleared grade 3 in july.
... and i actually somehow manage to one up my previous attempt too. that was really, really surprising.
well, off to grade 4 i go!
also, i can finally finish the entire sleepless city treno piece(although admittably it will take more practice to refine it to acceptable standards).
perhaps in few more years i can play any music that i want for my own personal enjoyment.
(and also add a wish list to get an actual upright/electone piano too).
---
sometimes when i decide to go on facebook and see how others are doing, i realize that i'm actually rather antisocial (as if that fact wasn't obvious enough to me).
acutally, antisocial isnt exactly the right word either; its more of 'i value personal time way, way more than talking to others' than 'i dont want to talk to anyone at all'.
but in any case, i think the end result is the same too ha.
well i guess i have to live with the consequences of my actions (and i'm more than happy to accept it).
----
sometimes i think about the future and what it holds, and i realize its an exercise in futility.
there's so many permutations and scenarios and possibilities that i can spend an eternity thinking about it, and yet i will get no conclusive outcomes or results.
---
i find that it is always best to hope for nothing, and expect the worst in all situations.
that way, you'll never be disappointed, and perhaps even surprise yourself if things dont go south.
perhaps some might see this as negative thinking (or any other terms that connotes negativity) but i find that its a better and easier way to see life as a whole.
---
i'll end my musings early as i still have many things that awaits me.
i'll probably continue more on my research project at the end of the year as usual.
Tuesday, December 31
and yet another year concludes - lets start.
there's a lot of things i feel like typing down, so i'll try to organise my thoughts as coherently as possible.
---
i'll begin with special semester, part I.
took the EU history mod, figured it would be doable since i fancied history in general (and EU modern history was sort of a new area for me to venture into).
well it was doable and i scored decently, but i have reached at a particular juncture where it isn't good enough anymore so there goes my zero SU challenge.
that aside, i made one or two new friends and i'm pretty okay with it given the short 6 weeks available.
also, i liked the professor's quirkiness and his mode of presentation; if only engineering lecturers followed a similar style to it, absorbing and understanding the concepts would be so much more palatable and easier. alas, i know i know, engineering stuff are all numbers and logic, and 'dryness' is inevitable for the most part.
i believe i did mention that sem 2 results were released while this module was in progress, so yeah it kinda dampen my mood slightly (which is something i got to learn how to suppress better).
never thought that graded take-home assignments would be my downfall now huh, gary?
----
with that, part II begins.
this time round, a law module disguised as a business mod (gem).
professor was sublime, enjoyed her lessons well (although going to campus on a saturday for lessons is sort of odd[the last time i have to attend classes on a saturday was during college days, oh boy]) got to say though that the grading/'scoring' criteria is nothing short of cutthroat (as to be expected in a class of just 30).
met another same batch chem eng student as well and he's a pretty cool guy, 10/10 in my books.
you sort of know that a lecturer has taught well when the concept still sticks with you even way after the course has ended. i can still quote specific subsections straight from the various acts!
am rather curious about her book on copyright acts; if it isn't too expensive i would like to fancy a read. perhaps a stop to the law campus coop is in order?
---
with that, i say farewell to 2 years of special semester - i don't think ill be doing any more of it already which is a real shame since i liked how quiet and peaceful the campus is when it is during vacation period.
---
and thus we return full circle to semester 1.
can't say it isn't bad, in fact im pretty cool with it, all within acceptable losses.
but i got to say that unless i change my modus operandi, i will be hitting a glass ceiling sooner than i think.
i hope my luck is still enough to persist for another 5 semesters! ha.
---
i think its right about time i should initiate an internship in the next semester break (that 3/4 months break) since it is unlikely that i need to accelerate any further (only 1 UEM slot left).
i hope my contacts can still remember me though, hopefully my work back then was to their standards at least.
otherwise, a visit to the career fair would work too; i'm still thankful that i bothered to tag along with some friends to the career fair (as a year 1 idiot) to see what exactly it is about, and there were quite a fair bit of internship positions being offered.
i'll make the first strike before nus does.
---
oh and i cleared my piano exams during spec sem as well. (straight after a test in the morning, no less ha)
well color me surprised when the results were out, the score was right on the dot; not one more, not one less either.
granted its just grade 2 (i mean come the fuck on gary, even primary students can do it without making a fuzz), but lets see if i can take this to grade 5 by the time i graduate.
i just want to finish what i wanted when i was ignorant and young.
---
the thought of going overseas to study for a semester had crossed my mind during the course of this semester; some of my friends (i think i can call them that now since i feel at ease most, if not all of the time) decided that
the idea of going overseas is something i fancy, but there were three major negatives for me-
1. my cap isn't exactly top notch (subject to debate i know) and
2. you still have to study there (it's not a GET OUT OF STUDYING LOL PARTY 24/7 card)
3. its just expensive (since i'm not going to get any funds from nus anyway); sure my parents are paying for it, but i shouldn't be a complete dick and ask them for ten thousands just for my own whim and fancy.
all things considered, it feels like you can't really appreciate and enjoy the country you're visiting anyway since you're more or less bogged down in their campus so i figured it would be better to save that money instead, and possibly use it for holidays (or in my case, buy games to relax and chill at home, ha).
to each his own though, i can understand why some would want to go and i would support them in doing so.
---
speaking of overseas, went to turkey for about 12 days for a holiday.
pretty cool, only downside i can think of is its biting cold which left my lips cracking and the occasional nose bleed too [my nose has never bled once in singapore, as a reference].
visited a fair bit of historic sites, ranging from ruins to remnants of cities, including amphitheaters, temples, aqueducts and mosques.its like as if i was in a game of civilization v!
its aesthetically pleasing, and an engineering/architectural feat no less back in those days.
the stories behind the rise and fall of the romans, the byzantines and ultimately ottomans (leading to the formation of the modern turkish republic) are nothing short of interesting as well (scandals that put modern day scandals to shame).
i guess turkey strikes me as unique due to how it deals with religion, and how it deals with the whole eastern/western influences.
lets start with the easier one on influences.
turkey's sandwiched between the east and the west, as most would know.
the conundrum lies in designating it as either an eastern or western country since turkey has lands which spans between the two (so much so that the EU itself is also unsure if it should allow turkey into the union; lol that module sure helps huh).
but it deals with the influences well as it simply picks the best both sides have to offer (western technology/modernization, eastern philosophy/beliefs) thereby creating a unique identity for itself.
on the matter of religion, turkey's predominantly muslim.
the key difference being that its still overall secular in the sense that it does not restrict people from choosing to practice whatever faith he/she wants to, and that i feel is unique in a muslim country.
also, it also highlights that different religions can co-exist even in large countries (and not just singapore).
---
i guess i don't share the same level of buzz as most do with regards to the new year ; i simply see it as just another day in life.
sure, time and time again you see those viral articles like 'top __ resolutions to make for 20xx' and whatnot.
i guess they don't work for me, since i only need one, and have already one since last year, and its still working for me.
moreover, whats the point of having a resolution if you haven't even try to do it in the preceding year anyway?
i suppose its more of a psychology thing (which i do not intend to delve into detail) to many people.
or it could just be that i'm becoming more jaded. who knows? ha.
well, one year closer to your death gary, congrats!
---
on that same note, modern music no longer cuts it for me; i'm just tired of hearing songs on the radio that has 'party', 'fun', and other variation of similar types.
guess i'm getting too old for this huh, gary?
---
anyway i found yet another great pianist again by the name of mina kubota.
---
there's a lot of things i feel like typing down, so i'll try to organise my thoughts as coherently as possible.
---
i'll begin with special semester, part I.
took the EU history mod, figured it would be doable since i fancied history in general (and EU modern history was sort of a new area for me to venture into).
well it was doable and i scored decently, but i have reached at a particular juncture where it isn't good enough anymore so there goes my zero SU challenge.
that aside, i made one or two new friends and i'm pretty okay with it given the short 6 weeks available.
also, i liked the professor's quirkiness and his mode of presentation; if only engineering lecturers followed a similar style to it, absorbing and understanding the concepts would be so much more palatable and easier. alas, i know i know, engineering stuff are all numbers and logic, and 'dryness' is inevitable for the most part.
i believe i did mention that sem 2 results were released while this module was in progress, so yeah it kinda dampen my mood slightly (which is something i got to learn how to suppress better).
never thought that graded take-home assignments would be my downfall now huh, gary?
----
with that, part II begins.
this time round, a law module disguised as a business mod (gem).
professor was sublime, enjoyed her lessons well (although going to campus on a saturday for lessons is sort of odd[the last time i have to attend classes on a saturday was during college days, oh boy]) got to say though that the grading/'scoring' criteria is nothing short of cutthroat (as to be expected in a class of just 30).
met another same batch chem eng student as well and he's a pretty cool guy, 10/10 in my books.
you sort of know that a lecturer has taught well when the concept still sticks with you even way after the course has ended. i can still quote specific subsections straight from the various acts!
am rather curious about her book on copyright acts; if it isn't too expensive i would like to fancy a read. perhaps a stop to the law campus coop is in order?
---
with that, i say farewell to 2 years of special semester - i don't think ill be doing any more of it already which is a real shame since i liked how quiet and peaceful the campus is when it is during vacation period.
---
and thus we return full circle to semester 1.
can't say it isn't bad, in fact im pretty cool with it, all within acceptable losses.
but i got to say that unless i change my modus operandi, i will be hitting a glass ceiling sooner than i think.
i hope my luck is still enough to persist for another 5 semesters! ha.
---
i think its right about time i should initiate an internship in the next semester break (that 3/4 months break) since it is unlikely that i need to accelerate any further (only 1 UEM slot left).
i hope my contacts can still remember me though, hopefully my work back then was to their standards at least.
otherwise, a visit to the career fair would work too; i'm still thankful that i bothered to tag along with some friends to the career fair (as a year 1 idiot) to see what exactly it is about, and there were quite a fair bit of internship positions being offered.
i'll make the first strike before nus does.
---
oh and i cleared my piano exams during spec sem as well. (straight after a test in the morning, no less ha)
well color me surprised when the results were out, the score was right on the dot; not one more, not one less either.
granted its just grade 2 (i mean come the fuck on gary, even primary students can do it without making a fuzz), but lets see if i can take this to grade 5 by the time i graduate.
i just want to finish what i wanted when i was ignorant and young.
---
the thought of going overseas to study for a semester had crossed my mind during the course of this semester; some of my friends (i think i can call them that now since i feel at ease most, if not all of the time) decided that
the idea of going overseas is something i fancy, but there were three major negatives for me-
1. my cap isn't exactly top notch (subject to debate i know) and
2. you still have to study there (it's not a GET OUT OF STUDYING LOL PARTY 24/7 card)
3. its just expensive (since i'm not going to get any funds from nus anyway); sure my parents are paying for it, but i shouldn't be a complete dick and ask them for ten thousands just for my own whim and fancy.
all things considered, it feels like you can't really appreciate and enjoy the country you're visiting anyway since you're more or less bogged down in their campus so i figured it would be better to save that money instead, and possibly use it for holidays (or in my case, buy games to relax and chill at home, ha).
to each his own though, i can understand why some would want to go and i would support them in doing so.
---
speaking of overseas, went to turkey for about 12 days for a holiday.
pretty cool, only downside i can think of is its biting cold which left my lips cracking and the occasional nose bleed too [my nose has never bled once in singapore, as a reference].
visited a fair bit of historic sites, ranging from ruins to remnants of cities, including amphitheaters, temples, aqueducts and mosques.its like as if i was in a game of civilization v!
its aesthetically pleasing, and an engineering/architectural feat no less back in those days.
the stories behind the rise and fall of the romans, the byzantines and ultimately ottomans (leading to the formation of the modern turkish republic) are nothing short of interesting as well (scandals that put modern day scandals to shame).
i guess turkey strikes me as unique due to how it deals with religion, and how it deals with the whole eastern/western influences.
lets start with the easier one on influences.
turkey's sandwiched between the east and the west, as most would know.
the conundrum lies in designating it as either an eastern or western country since turkey has lands which spans between the two (so much so that the EU itself is also unsure if it should allow turkey into the union; lol that module sure helps huh).
but it deals with the influences well as it simply picks the best both sides have to offer (western technology/modernization, eastern philosophy/beliefs) thereby creating a unique identity for itself.
on the matter of religion, turkey's predominantly muslim.
the key difference being that its still overall secular in the sense that it does not restrict people from choosing to practice whatever faith he/she wants to, and that i feel is unique in a muslim country.
also, it also highlights that different religions can co-exist even in large countries (and not just singapore).
---
i guess i don't share the same level of buzz as most do with regards to the new year ; i simply see it as just another day in life.
sure, time and time again you see those viral articles like 'top __ resolutions to make for 20xx' and whatnot.
i guess they don't work for me, since i only need one, and have already one since last year, and its still working for me.
moreover, whats the point of having a resolution if you haven't even try to do it in the preceding year anyway?
i suppose its more of a psychology thing (which i do not intend to delve into detail) to many people.
or it could just be that i'm becoming more jaded. who knows? ha.
well, one year closer to your death gary, congrats!
---
on that same note, modern music no longer cuts it for me; i'm just tired of hearing songs on the radio that has 'party', 'fun', and other variation of similar types.
guess i'm getting too old for this huh, gary?
---
anyway i found yet another great pianist again by the name of mina kubota.
one of her piano solos titled 旅立ちの風 is calming. its like forgetting everything and attaining inner peace (at least for me).
i took a look at the sheet music and i think that i'll probably need at least half a year before i can probably play it, although not as good as herself of course ha.
its like as if piano is a CCA to me! (one man CCA that is, haha).
---
having undergone a year+ in piano, i feel that it was the right choice to undertake this commitment.
it has definitely served in providing a sanctuary for myself to take refuge in, and also in providing some sense of calm to me.
---
on the issue of understanding myself better, i am still nowhere close to a definitive answer.
i don't have much time left though before i officially plunge myself into the working world, which by then would be a tad too late in my opinion.
having undergone a year+ in piano, i feel that it was the right choice to undertake this commitment.
it has definitely served in providing a sanctuary for myself to take refuge in, and also in providing some sense of calm to me.
---
on the issue of understanding myself better, i am still nowhere close to a definitive answer.
i don't have much time left though before i officially plunge myself into the working world, which by then would be a tad too late in my opinion.
---
there's no time like the present gary, lets go and do your best again.
and as with everything, have fun!
Saturday, June 29
half-time special: one-year nus perspective
i have some time to spare before lessons/lectures start, so its time to go on a lengthy monologue on life so far.
---
in all honesty, i feel i got overconfident, and too oblivious which caused my own failings for this semester.
sure, by most people's definition it isn't exactly a failure but i still feel that it could had been much better, given that there were so many chances along the way and i still managed to fumble.
somehow, i feel like i kinda blew it. i got a tad too complacent after semester 1.
guess this is a good wake up call for me to realign my priorities and focus again, lest i commit the same faults again.
i don't want to commit the same error as i did back in jc, and i sure am tired of regretting.
---
on a lighter note to the previous section, if luck is a commodity, then i believe i may have already exhausted all my luck back then in sem 1.
well, good luck gary!
---
next semester will be a critical juncture, and it is essential that i do whatever in my power to make sure that i do the best i can.
---
so this semester opened me to a new circle of friends.
its largely thanks to the english mod which was 1) an all-guys only class (which means everyone can basically crack potentially sexist jokes without repercussions and laugh) and 2) a very small class size (only 8 people out of a maximum of 16). under such conditions i think it was much easier to forge ties with people previously thought to be impossible.
oh and the ang moh lecturer was one of the coolest/slackest of all that i have encountered to date.
all of which i am pretty grateful for, as someone who doesn't actively seek for friends.
---
i think in last year's post i mentioned about how great the medical library was.
it still is great, but there's a new #1 spot in my heart - music.
non-existent crowds (even their own goddamn students dont use their home library, go figure), comfy chairs, small, quiet.
to add on, whoever actually suggested placing a piano in the library for use should be awarded a medal for his/her ingenuity because it is one of the best ideas ever. it's one of the most underrated, and effective tool for messing around. i think i've sunked tens of hours into playing the piano for this semester while waiting for lectures to convene.
i like to compare music library as a sanctuary, as a place where i can seek refuge amidst all the chaos. its so peaceful to the point that it feels like time had almost stood still.
i think i have truly found my second home in nus now.
---
those commencement banners being put up around campus reminds me of my brother's commencement ceremony 2-3 years ago.
and it also reminded me of a promise made to my mom back then.
(late afternoon at the university cultural centre, seated at the rear end of the hall with my mom)
me: so what tier is he (my brother)?
mom: second upper, as you can see from the booklet.
me: (insert random smacktalk), i can do better than that no sweat
mom: oh really, you sure about that?
me: yeah i'm going to one-up his by getting a better score than he does, you'll see it in 5 years time
(later i realize his cap was actually ~0.03 away from a first class).
that is why you should NEVER ever make any promises, gary!
(chances are she probably had forgetton about it, but promises being promises, once you made one you just have to see through it to the bitter end)
(at least that's what promises mean to me)
----
i'll probably talk more about special semester in the next post (possibly december 31 again?) , after both part I and II are completed.
---
did some spring cleaning on my room.
started right after lunch at 1pm, and it took me 5 hours to complete.
among some of the things i thought was interesting-
1) i still have my mjc badge intact (which i thought was pretty impressive, thought i threw that away), still shiny as ever. also, i still had that open house card as well which was also in pristine condition. (no, i am not tossing those away)
2)i finally decided to toss most (~85%) of my jc notes, once and for all. room's getting too cramped anyway, given my habit of buying books from kino after each exam. not sure why this is a key point, but perhaps its proof that i'm not a hoarder like my dad is (which brings me to another topic to be discussed later)
3)upon cursory inspection, the percentage breakdown of the genre of books i have are as follow:
4) the amount of thrash thrown was... a lot as a consequence of throwing stacks after stacks of paper. while throwing i saw some of my past exam paper, some of the answers gave me a nice laugh (especially the 8 mark question on probability - i remember the teacher actually giving a tick to me and my friend ONLY (two of us out of the entire cohort) for the answer when it was actually wrong upon further scrutiny, and both of us made a pact not to report it to the teacher. good times.)
cleaning is time consuming, but there is some degree of satisfaction to be derived from it if done well.
---
i had a chat with a friend.
the topic of conversation varied considerably, from school to both of our lives.
then the topic somehow switched to the topic of marriage/finding a girlfriend (which i guess is a common topic to be talked among guys although i share faint interest in it (there are more pressing things to consider!))
he did mentioned that 'if you don't find one during uni times you're pretty much going alone' and that 'marriage is the goal in life' .
i can understand why he said that; i will not discount that it would be significantly harder once one is out of school, but i have an issue with his second claim - who says marriage is the goal?
i mean that's just the same as saying those who remained single failed in life which makes no sense whatsoever. moreover, surely marriage can't be the end-point; its only the beginning of a very, very long road to ... i don't even know where it leads but you can bet it's gonna be god damn long alright.
and having experienced a fair share of PTSD mothers (thanks to occasionally helping my mom as a head nurse, and no my mom does NOT have ptsd), i am of the opinion that if one only considers marriage as the end point, then he/she clearly hasn't thought through things well enough.
fuck me, i'm not even sure why i'm a tad miffed over this even though this has no concern with me!
(oh and of course i did not rebutt his claim during the conversation; sure i did disagree but i did not go so far as to enforce my opinion on him, which would be silly on my part)
(jeez, i think i acquired most of my medical knowledge from my mom)
---
the process of cleaning my room has brought up a topic that came up to my mind - nostalgia.
the only reason why i kept those jc notes was mostly because i thought they were probably useful during uni (which they weren't for the most part) and that i had a bit of nostalgia.
don't get me wrong, nostalgia is okay in my books, its fine to have some of it. the thing with nostalgia is that when it actually impedes oneself in terms of potential, in terms of growth or self-betterment that is where i draw the line in the sand and say that nostalgia can be harmful, especially so if it prevents one from making beneficial changes.
---
this then leads me into another idea that floated my mind - change.
i decided to take a run around tampines, from my house to tpjc/dunman. (which amounted to approximately 5km after crude estimations), just to keep myself amused (because running in the same park gets awfully boring after some time), and to see what has changed.
here's a laundry list.
well actually alright it isnt that much of a list but yeah there are some visible changes now compared to a few years ago.
all these prove two things -
1) changes take place whether you like it or not
2) changes are unavoidable
on second thoughts both points seem to be the same but yeah, it serves to remind me that i can't just keep things as status quo forever and not progress; i also have to change too if i am to actually improve myself.
as uncomfortable this may be, i am painfully aware that its a necessary evil.
----
i always feel that i'm living on borrowed time.
sometimes i do wonder what would happen had i actually died back then. (no it wasn't suicide, it was an actual accident i must insist) (man, this makes for a interesting thought experiment)
someone else would probably take my place in secondary school, and subsequently junior college, someone else would be able to affect the dynamics of the classroom quite differently from what i did.. and so on and so forth, the list never ends (since its all hypothetical).
frankly speaking, i would be happy to die sooner than later. perhaps by the age of 30?
---
on the topic of death, i still stick with the opinion that the hospital is the best place to actually understand and learn humility.
i had to visit my grandmother who was warded for minor chest pains due to the haze(which was fortunately a false alarm) (she's already discharged and well at home, where she always want to be).
because her ward wasn't an a ward like my mom back then in end 2011 at ttsh, she had to rest with four other elderly people in the same room. of all the 5 elderly people in the room, i can safely say that my grandmother was the best of shapes compared to the rest.
i find it interesting that the physical body itself (note that this is a distinction from a person's mental will) is designed to live/survive, by struggling to breathe non-stop even if it gets difficult until it finally gives up. incidentally, thats one of the symptoms of lung failure where you could tell by their very heavy breathing like as if they're gasping for air.
i can only hope that it goes well for the rest, or that their deaths be as peaceful as possible.
----
a year has passed now, and i'm still struggling to understand myself better. there's still so many things i don't know about myself in all honesty.
3 more years. lets see if its even possible to get definitive answers while studying in nus.
---
i stumbled upon a short animation flim called 言の葉の庭 / the garden of words.
the animation was sublime, and the story line pretty decent for a 'slice-of-life'/romance flim.
but what actually left me impressed was the piano soundtrack itself which was made by this fine gentleman called daisuke kashiwa. (yes i like piano and/or jazz)
its a single soundtrack 14 minutes long, piano solo. he manages to convey a swirling mix of urgency, sadness and wistfulness into one single piano piece and does it very, very well.
so i decided to look into more of his works, and that is where i think i might have found the chaos theory equivalent of music.
enter stella and write once, run melos. two pieces of... alternative music (not exactly sure how to classify this kind of music) 36 and 26 minutes long respectively, which is very long (most music tend to vary from 3-10 minutes tops, give or take +/- 5mins).
what actually surprises me is that he actually throws in actual static sound (which actually threw me off the first time i heard it, thinking that the music file is corrupted), and random sounds as part of the mix into the music but funnily enough, it actually bloody works! it sounded really good.
well, guess there's always something new to discover on the internet everyday.
---
piano exams in a months time.
gotta get ready gary, and above all, just like school life, have fun.
---
some people did asked me why in the world i am taking piano while in university.
their concerns have basis i must admit, since time is a valuable commodity in university.
to which i can only say that i had a deprived childhood, and that i'm just trying to pick up something that i had always wanted to for quite a while, but lacked the courage to do so.
---
i end off with a quote from a professor that i had a chat with before.
the topic of conversation was "why are laws designed to be mindbogglingly longwinded and boring".
his reply was as follow -
"law-makers create laws to have hundred of pages, they make it so long and draggy such that the average layperson wouldn't be interested in it. because of that, lawmakers are able to pass through laws and constitutions much more easier since there is little opposition from the ground (since people just couldn't be bothered with having to read tons and tons of verbose)."
so this entire post/blog is an exercise in verbose, designed to bore everyone except myself. score!
i have some time to spare before lessons/lectures start, so its time to go on a lengthy monologue on life so far.
---
in all honesty, i feel i got overconfident, and too oblivious which caused my own failings for this semester.
sure, by most people's definition it isn't exactly a failure but i still feel that it could had been much better, given that there were so many chances along the way and i still managed to fumble.
somehow, i feel like i kinda blew it. i got a tad too complacent after semester 1.
guess this is a good wake up call for me to realign my priorities and focus again, lest i commit the same faults again.
i don't want to commit the same error as i did back in jc, and i sure am tired of regretting.
---
on a lighter note to the previous section, if luck is a commodity, then i believe i may have already exhausted all my luck back then in sem 1.
well, good luck gary!
---
next semester will be a critical juncture, and it is essential that i do whatever in my power to make sure that i do the best i can.
---
so this semester opened me to a new circle of friends.
its largely thanks to the english mod which was 1) an all-guys only class (which means everyone can basically crack potentially sexist jokes without repercussions and laugh) and 2) a very small class size (only 8 people out of a maximum of 16). under such conditions i think it was much easier to forge ties with people previously thought to be impossible.
oh and the ang moh lecturer was one of the coolest/slackest of all that i have encountered to date.
all of which i am pretty grateful for, as someone who doesn't actively seek for friends.
---
i think in last year's post i mentioned about how great the medical library was.
it still is great, but there's a new #1 spot in my heart - music.
non-existent crowds (even their own goddamn students dont use their home library, go figure), comfy chairs, small, quiet.
to add on, whoever actually suggested placing a piano in the library for use should be awarded a medal for his/her ingenuity because it is one of the best ideas ever. it's one of the most underrated, and effective tool for messing around. i think i've sunked tens of hours into playing the piano for this semester while waiting for lectures to convene.
i like to compare music library as a sanctuary, as a place where i can seek refuge amidst all the chaos. its so peaceful to the point that it feels like time had almost stood still.
i think i have truly found my second home in nus now.
---
those commencement banners being put up around campus reminds me of my brother's commencement ceremony 2-3 years ago.
and it also reminded me of a promise made to my mom back then.
(late afternoon at the university cultural centre, seated at the rear end of the hall with my mom)
me: so what tier is he (my brother)?
mom: second upper, as you can see from the booklet.
me: (insert random smacktalk), i can do better than that no sweat
mom: oh really, you sure about that?
me: yeah i'm going to one-up his by getting a better score than he does, you'll see it in 5 years time
(later i realize his cap was actually ~0.03 away from a first class).
that is why you should NEVER ever make any promises, gary!
(chances are she probably had forgetton about it, but promises being promises, once you made one you just have to see through it to the bitter end)
(at least that's what promises mean to me)
----
i'll probably talk more about special semester in the next post (possibly december 31 again?) , after both part I and II are completed.
---
did some spring cleaning on my room.
started right after lunch at 1pm, and it took me 5 hours to complete.
among some of the things i thought was interesting-
1) i still have my mjc badge intact (which i thought was pretty impressive, thought i threw that away), still shiny as ever. also, i still had that open house card as well which was also in pristine condition. (no, i am not tossing those away)
2)i finally decided to toss most (~85%) of my jc notes, once and for all. room's getting too cramped anyway, given my habit of buying books from kino after each exam. not sure why this is a key point, but perhaps its proof that i'm not a hoarder like my dad is (which brings me to another topic to be discussed later)
3)upon cursory inspection, the percentage breakdown of the genre of books i have are as follow:
- fiction - 5% (figures, not exactly into fantasy in prose form)
- random books (i.e. books that tells you 1001 silly ways to kill yourself) - 20%
- commentaries (ramblings by certain famous people like jeremy clarkson) - 15%
- probabilities (yes i actually have these kind of books which probably makes me a sad, miserable, and insufferable fellow) - 20%
- philo stuff - 25% (reading out of leisure now, which is MUCH better than being tested for it)
- history books - 15% (i actually thought i had a lot of books on history but that doesn't seem to be the case)
4) the amount of thrash thrown was... a lot as a consequence of throwing stacks after stacks of paper. while throwing i saw some of my past exam paper, some of the answers gave me a nice laugh (especially the 8 mark question on probability - i remember the teacher actually giving a tick to me and my friend ONLY (two of us out of the entire cohort) for the answer when it was actually wrong upon further scrutiny, and both of us made a pact not to report it to the teacher. good times.)
cleaning is time consuming, but there is some degree of satisfaction to be derived from it if done well.
---
i had a chat with a friend.
the topic of conversation varied considerably, from school to both of our lives.
then the topic somehow switched to the topic of marriage/finding a girlfriend (which i guess is a common topic to be talked among guys although i share faint interest in it (there are more pressing things to consider!))
he did mentioned that 'if you don't find one during uni times you're pretty much going alone' and that 'marriage is the goal in life' .
i can understand why he said that; i will not discount that it would be significantly harder once one is out of school, but i have an issue with his second claim - who says marriage is the goal?
i mean that's just the same as saying those who remained single failed in life which makes no sense whatsoever. moreover, surely marriage can't be the end-point; its only the beginning of a very, very long road to ... i don't even know where it leads but you can bet it's gonna be god damn long alright.
and having experienced a fair share of PTSD mothers (thanks to occasionally helping my mom as a head nurse, and no my mom does NOT have ptsd), i am of the opinion that if one only considers marriage as the end point, then he/she clearly hasn't thought through things well enough.
fuck me, i'm not even sure why i'm a tad miffed over this even though this has no concern with me!
(oh and of course i did not rebutt his claim during the conversation; sure i did disagree but i did not go so far as to enforce my opinion on him, which would be silly on my part)
(jeez, i think i acquired most of my medical knowledge from my mom)
---
the process of cleaning my room has brought up a topic that came up to my mind - nostalgia.
the only reason why i kept those jc notes was mostly because i thought they were probably useful during uni (which they weren't for the most part) and that i had a bit of nostalgia.
don't get me wrong, nostalgia is okay in my books, its fine to have some of it. the thing with nostalgia is that when it actually impedes oneself in terms of potential, in terms of growth or self-betterment that is where i draw the line in the sand and say that nostalgia can be harmful, especially so if it prevents one from making beneficial changes.
---
this then leads me into another idea that floated my mind - change.
i decided to take a run around tampines, from my house to tpjc/dunman. (which amounted to approximately 5km after crude estimations), just to keep myself amused (because running in the same park gets awfully boring after some time), and to see what has changed.
here's a laundry list.
- mrt station (i think?) being build opposite tpjc, tons of construction going on
- the bubble tea store is now a dominos!
- dunman apparently look much bigger than before which is odd but okay
- the food court is now a departmental store
- the western store seem to have switched locations from the right to the left side of the walkway
well actually alright it isnt that much of a list but yeah there are some visible changes now compared to a few years ago.
all these prove two things -
1) changes take place whether you like it or not
2) changes are unavoidable
on second thoughts both points seem to be the same but yeah, it serves to remind me that i can't just keep things as status quo forever and not progress; i also have to change too if i am to actually improve myself.
as uncomfortable this may be, i am painfully aware that its a necessary evil.
----
i always feel that i'm living on borrowed time.
sometimes i do wonder what would happen had i actually died back then. (no it wasn't suicide, it was an actual accident i must insist) (man, this makes for a interesting thought experiment)
someone else would probably take my place in secondary school, and subsequently junior college, someone else would be able to affect the dynamics of the classroom quite differently from what i did.. and so on and so forth, the list never ends (since its all hypothetical).
frankly speaking, i would be happy to die sooner than later. perhaps by the age of 30?
---
on the topic of death, i still stick with the opinion that the hospital is the best place to actually understand and learn humility.
i had to visit my grandmother who was warded for minor chest pains due to the haze(which was fortunately a false alarm) (she's already discharged and well at home, where she always want to be).
because her ward wasn't an a ward like my mom back then in end 2011 at ttsh, she had to rest with four other elderly people in the same room. of all the 5 elderly people in the room, i can safely say that my grandmother was the best of shapes compared to the rest.
i find it interesting that the physical body itself (note that this is a distinction from a person's mental will) is designed to live/survive, by struggling to breathe non-stop even if it gets difficult until it finally gives up. incidentally, thats one of the symptoms of lung failure where you could tell by their very heavy breathing like as if they're gasping for air.
i can only hope that it goes well for the rest, or that their deaths be as peaceful as possible.
----
a year has passed now, and i'm still struggling to understand myself better. there's still so many things i don't know about myself in all honesty.
3 more years. lets see if its even possible to get definitive answers while studying in nus.
---
i stumbled upon a short animation flim called 言の葉の庭 / the garden of words.
the animation was sublime, and the story line pretty decent for a 'slice-of-life'/romance flim.
but what actually left me impressed was the piano soundtrack itself which was made by this fine gentleman called daisuke kashiwa. (yes i like piano and/or jazz)
its a single soundtrack 14 minutes long, piano solo. he manages to convey a swirling mix of urgency, sadness and wistfulness into one single piano piece and does it very, very well.
so i decided to look into more of his works, and that is where i think i might have found the chaos theory equivalent of music.
enter stella and write once, run melos. two pieces of... alternative music (not exactly sure how to classify this kind of music) 36 and 26 minutes long respectively, which is very long (most music tend to vary from 3-10 minutes tops, give or take +/- 5mins).
what actually surprises me is that he actually throws in actual static sound (which actually threw me off the first time i heard it, thinking that the music file is corrupted), and random sounds as part of the mix into the music but funnily enough, it actually bloody works! it sounded really good.
well, guess there's always something new to discover on the internet everyday.
---
piano exams in a months time.
gotta get ready gary, and above all, just like school life, have fun.
---
some people did asked me why in the world i am taking piano while in university.
their concerns have basis i must admit, since time is a valuable commodity in university.
to which i can only say that i had a deprived childhood, and that i'm just trying to pick up something that i had always wanted to for quite a while, but lacked the courage to do so.
---
i end off with a quote from a professor that i had a chat with before.
the topic of conversation was "why are laws designed to be mindbogglingly longwinded and boring".
his reply was as follow -
"law-makers create laws to have hundred of pages, they make it so long and draggy such that the average layperson wouldn't be interested in it. because of that, lawmakers are able to pass through laws and constitutions much more easier since there is little opposition from the ground (since people just couldn't be bothered with having to read tons and tons of verbose)."
so this entire post/blog is an exercise in verbose, designed to bore everyone except myself. score!
Monday, December 31
a year in perspective - 2012
well another year went by and its important to stop for a moment and take stock at what happened this year, hoping that (somehow) i can improve myself and avoid making the same set of errors/mistakes in the near future.
also, cataloging a series of random events in this year as well.
let's start.
---
did wisdom tooth surgery to pull out those 4 teeths.
surprisingly, zero/minimal pain (doctors probably administered a generous serving of anesthetics on the gum) aside from the unfortunate side effect of having blood-filled saliva for the next few days.
didn't realize how these teeth were in the way of my own breathing passage as well until xray scans indicated it. also, because 2 of them are concealed within the gum(not visible, cant brush them), there was already some degree of decay which could pose health problems in time to come.
guess i was a step ahead this time round.
---
sometime earlier this year, i was messaged by someone who i formerly had a crush on.
she basically messaged to make amends, although it wasn't her fault (totally,if i must add).
long story short, she rejected me, i acted coldly towards her during that time period and we broke communications.
during our short conversation i simply came forward to apologize.
there was two things that came out of this -
one, i am totally disgusted by my inability to make the apology first, given that it was my fault. that probably shows how much of a coward i am huh, gary?
two, i wished that in her replying message she didn't go all 'i actually liked you back then, but...'. i know nothing of her motives for saying that; perhaps she typed that out of guilt (may i point out that this guilt is not her fault to begin with) or out of pity (another possibility that i won't discount). i would personally prefer a cleaner break, along the lines of 'lets normalize this relationship as friends' and end it just there, but i am in no position to bargain, since it was clearly my own doing that has led down to this path.
i regret being an immature and spoilt, egotistical and self-serving bastard back then.
also, i regret giving into such emotions as well, for as you can see, it has led to too much inconveniences for other people in the process.
moving forward, at least this emotional block has somewhat resolved, giving me some degree of peace/calm.
---
left the navy in april.
on the day of ord it was pretty okay i guess, not totally ecstatic, just relieved. perhaps that's weird by normal standards.
---
started school in may.
special term, part one and part two.
didn't experience too much of a 'cultural' shock; perhaps academic life is something i'm accustomed to.
at the end of the two terms i must say that the module on chaos theory has left an impression on me as to how much i don't really know.
also, did i mention how much the professor sounds like mario? i know its a stereotype to classify all italians as people with a mario accent but it really fits the bill all too well.
he's a good professor i'll admit.
---
at the same time, started formal piano lessons.
going to do grade two exams again this coming june/july. there's still some time left to prepare before hand.
hopefully by then, i should be adequately prepared to deal with it.
also, with an official qualification, the pathway to joining the jazz club is open as well, granted that my grades continue to remain well.
the tune from starlight waltz is pretty catchy, i must add.
---
official school term, semester 1.
started alone, ended up with a few friends, some of which are from mjc but of different classes.
well thats fine with me, don't need too many to begin with since conversations usually wear me down. in fact, i am more than happy with this small group of people i can somewhat call as a friend.
what's fun about university life is that i am accountable to only myself; i can say 'fuck it' and elect to skip classes if i so wish, or play a perfect run by attending all classes and do work readily. i can simply choose to study alone at a corner without any disturbances.
best of all, i find that university is more or less an open-playing field where most advantages that can be bought with money are neutralized, like tuition for example. (do you hear people saying 'hey man i need tuition for my uni studies'?)
all in all, for this semester, i'm ok with my grades, not going to complain.
let's see if i can keep this game up for another 7 semesters.
---
may i also take this opportunity to thank the medical library for providing a safe haven for me to escape reality and focus on the task at hand?
unlike the clusterfuck that is the central library, at least the medical library's quiet and also significantly less crowded too.
oh, and its the closest library to the mrt station, too.
---
there's this japanese travel show on channel news asia which i felt was really fun.
its basically a travel show where 3 actors travel by buses only from point a to point b, and in the process explore tourist spots/unique locations in 4 days.
i find the thrill of rushing from one bus to another under a time constrain exciting. in addition, it doesnt feel as scripted as other travel shows usually do.
if singapore was even 1/8th the size of japan it might be fun to play such a game as well.
---
and one last thing.
went to MBS for a few days, took the chance to stay in one of those suites during the christmas week.
think of it as a short 'staycation' if you will, since i didnt go overseas because of my exams (and also because i don't want to hear my parents arguing on a holiday which is a major turn-off).
the view from the rooftop pool is pretty invigorating and definitely what i needed to power myself up for the upcoming semester.
also, the afternoon tea buffet is pretty impressive too. those things can make you fat if you just gobble them up willingly!
---
i realized that i'm only updating this blog on a yearly basis.
well it can't be helped, i guess (ha). perhaps its for the better, who knows? with that being said, lets go - another year of unknown challenges awaits.
i look forward to seeing them.
well another year went by and its important to stop for a moment and take stock at what happened this year, hoping that (somehow) i can improve myself and avoid making the same set of errors/mistakes in the near future.
also, cataloging a series of random events in this year as well.
let's start.
---
did wisdom tooth surgery to pull out those 4 teeths.
surprisingly, zero/minimal pain (doctors probably administered a generous serving of anesthetics on the gum) aside from the unfortunate side effect of having blood-filled saliva for the next few days.
didn't realize how these teeth were in the way of my own breathing passage as well until xray scans indicated it. also, because 2 of them are concealed within the gum(not visible, cant brush them), there was already some degree of decay which could pose health problems in time to come.
guess i was a step ahead this time round.
---
sometime earlier this year, i was messaged by someone who i formerly had a crush on.
she basically messaged to make amends, although it wasn't her fault (totally,if i must add).
long story short, she rejected me, i acted coldly towards her during that time period and we broke communications.
during our short conversation i simply came forward to apologize.
there was two things that came out of this -
one, i am totally disgusted by my inability to make the apology first, given that it was my fault. that probably shows how much of a coward i am huh, gary?
two, i wished that in her replying message she didn't go all 'i actually liked you back then, but...'. i know nothing of her motives for saying that; perhaps she typed that out of guilt (may i point out that this guilt is not her fault to begin with) or out of pity (another possibility that i won't discount). i would personally prefer a cleaner break, along the lines of 'lets normalize this relationship as friends' and end it just there, but i am in no position to bargain, since it was clearly my own doing that has led down to this path.
i regret being an immature and spoilt, egotistical and self-serving bastard back then.
also, i regret giving into such emotions as well, for as you can see, it has led to too much inconveniences for other people in the process.
moving forward, at least this emotional block has somewhat resolved, giving me some degree of peace/calm.
---
left the navy in april.
on the day of ord it was pretty okay i guess, not totally ecstatic, just relieved. perhaps that's weird by normal standards.
---
started school in may.
special term, part one and part two.
didn't experience too much of a 'cultural' shock; perhaps academic life is something i'm accustomed to.
at the end of the two terms i must say that the module on chaos theory has left an impression on me as to how much i don't really know.
also, did i mention how much the professor sounds like mario? i know its a stereotype to classify all italians as people with a mario accent but it really fits the bill all too well.
he's a good professor i'll admit.
---
at the same time, started formal piano lessons.
going to do grade two exams again this coming june/july. there's still some time left to prepare before hand.
hopefully by then, i should be adequately prepared to deal with it.
also, with an official qualification, the pathway to joining the jazz club is open as well, granted that my grades continue to remain well.
the tune from starlight waltz is pretty catchy, i must add.
---
official school term, semester 1.
started alone, ended up with a few friends, some of which are from mjc but of different classes.
well thats fine with me, don't need too many to begin with since conversations usually wear me down. in fact, i am more than happy with this small group of people i can somewhat call as a friend.
what's fun about university life is that i am accountable to only myself; i can say 'fuck it' and elect to skip classes if i so wish, or play a perfect run by attending all classes and do work readily. i can simply choose to study alone at a corner without any disturbances.
best of all, i find that university is more or less an open-playing field where most advantages that can be bought with money are neutralized, like tuition for example. (do you hear people saying 'hey man i need tuition for my uni studies'?)
all in all, for this semester, i'm ok with my grades, not going to complain.
let's see if i can keep this game up for another 7 semesters.
---
may i also take this opportunity to thank the medical library for providing a safe haven for me to escape reality and focus on the task at hand?
unlike the clusterfuck that is the central library, at least the medical library's quiet and also significantly less crowded too.
oh, and its the closest library to the mrt station, too.
---
there's this japanese travel show on channel news asia which i felt was really fun.
its basically a travel show where 3 actors travel by buses only from point a to point b, and in the process explore tourist spots/unique locations in 4 days.
i find the thrill of rushing from one bus to another under a time constrain exciting. in addition, it doesnt feel as scripted as other travel shows usually do.
if singapore was even 1/8th the size of japan it might be fun to play such a game as well.
---
and one last thing.
went to MBS for a few days, took the chance to stay in one of those suites during the christmas week.
think of it as a short 'staycation' if you will, since i didnt go overseas because of my exams (and also because i don't want to hear my parents arguing on a holiday which is a major turn-off).
the view from the rooftop pool is pretty invigorating and definitely what i needed to power myself up for the upcoming semester.
also, the afternoon tea buffet is pretty impressive too. those things can make you fat if you just gobble them up willingly!
---
i realized that i'm only updating this blog on a yearly basis.
well it can't be helped, i guess (ha). perhaps its for the better, who knows? with that being said, lets go - another year of unknown challenges awaits.
i look forward to seeing them.
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