a year in perspective - 2012

well another year went by and its important to stop for a moment and take stock at what happened this year, hoping that (somehow) i can improve myself and avoid making the same set of errors/mistakes in the near future.

also, cataloging a series of random events in this year as well.

let's start.

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did wisdom tooth surgery to pull out those 4 teeths.

surprisingly, zero/minimal pain (doctors probably administered a generous serving of anesthetics on the gum) aside from the unfortunate side effect of having blood-filled saliva for the next few days.

didn't realize how these teeth were in the way of my own breathing passage as well until xray scans indicated it. also, because 2 of them are concealed within the gum(not visible, cant brush them), there was already some degree of decay which could pose health problems in time to come.

guess i was a step ahead this time round.

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sometime earlier this year, i was messaged by someone who i formerly had a crush on.

she basically messaged to make amends, although it wasn't her fault (totally,if i must add).

long story short, she rejected me, i acted coldly towards her during that time period and we broke communications.

during our short conversation i simply came forward to apologize.



there was two things that came out of this -


one, i am totally disgusted by my inability to make the apology first, given that it was my fault. that probably shows how much of a coward i am huh, gary?


two, i wished that in her replying message she didn't go all 'i actually liked you back then, but...'. i know nothing of her motives for saying that; perhaps she typed that out of guilt (may i point out that this guilt is not her fault to  begin with) or out of pity (another possibility that i won't discount). i would personally prefer a cleaner break, along the lines of 'lets normalize this relationship as friends' and end it just there, but i am in no position to bargain, since it was clearly my own doing that has led down to this path.

i regret being an immature and spoilt, egotistical and self-serving bastard back then.

also, i regret giving into such emotions as well, for as you can see, it has led to too much inconveniences for other people in the process.

moving forward, at least this emotional block has somewhat resolved, giving me some degree of peace/calm.
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left the navy in april.

on the day of ord it was pretty okay i guess, not totally ecstatic, just relieved. perhaps that's weird by normal standards.

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started school in may.

special term, part one and part two.

didn't experience too much of a 'cultural' shock; perhaps academic life is something i'm accustomed to.

at the end of the two terms i must say that the module on chaos theory has left an impression on me as to how much i don't really know.

also, did i mention how much the professor sounds like mario? i know its a stereotype to classify all italians as people with a mario accent but it really fits the bill all too well.

he's a good professor i'll admit.

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at the same time, started formal piano lessons.

going to do grade two exams again this coming june/july. there's still some time left to prepare before hand.

hopefully by then, i should be adequately prepared to deal with it.

also, with an official qualification, the pathway to joining the jazz club is open as well, granted that my grades continue to remain well.

the tune from starlight waltz is pretty catchy, i must add.

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official school term, semester 1.

started alone, ended up with a few friends, some of which are from mjc but of different classes.

well thats fine with me, don't need too many to begin with since conversations usually wear me down. in fact, i am more than happy with this small group of people i can somewhat call as a friend.

what's fun about university life is that i am accountable to only myself; i can say 'fuck it' and elect to skip classes if i so wish, or play a perfect run by attending all classes and do work readily. i can simply choose to study alone at a corner without any disturbances.

best of all, i find that university is more or less an open-playing field where most advantages that can be bought with money are neutralized, like tuition for example. (do you hear people saying 'hey man i need tuition for my uni studies'?)

all in all, for this semester, i'm ok with my grades, not going to complain.

let's see if i can keep this game up for another 7 semesters.

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may i also take this opportunity to thank the medical library for providing a safe haven for me to escape reality and focus on the task at hand?

unlike the clusterfuck that is the central library, at least the medical library's quiet and also significantly less crowded too.

oh, and its the closest library to the mrt station, too.

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there's this japanese travel show on channel news asia which i felt was really fun.

its basically a travel show where 3 actors travel by buses only from point a to point b, and in the process explore tourist spots/unique locations in 4 days.

i find the thrill of rushing from one bus to another under a time constrain exciting. in addition, it doesnt feel as scripted as other travel shows usually do.

if singapore was even 1/8th the size of japan it might be fun to play such a game as well.

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and one last thing.

went to MBS for a few days, took the chance to stay in one of those suites during the christmas week.

think of it as a short 'staycation' if you will, since i didnt go overseas because of my exams (and also because i don't want to hear my parents arguing on a holiday which is a major turn-off).

the view from the rooftop pool is pretty invigorating and definitely what i needed to power myself up for the upcoming semester.

also, the afternoon tea buffet is pretty impressive too. those things can make you fat if you just gobble them up willingly!

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i realized that i'm only updating this blog on a yearly basis.

well it can't be helped, i guess (ha). perhaps its for the better, who knows? with that being said, lets go - another year of unknown challenges awaits.

i look forward to seeing them.